When we are called in to help a Senior, the call is often initiated by the Adult Children.
In my own life, we are very fortunate to have my Parents around. They just celebrated their 62nd Wedding Anniversary!!! (try and find a card for that one!) My Mom turns 87 next week and my Dad turns 85 next month. We talk to them frequently and have them over for dinner with our whole family every Sunday. It's a great time and it amazes me the things they have seen in their lifetime.
It's funny how life changes. There is a lot of press regarding "The Sandwich Generation", defined by Wikipedia as: "a generation of people who care for their aging parents while supporting their own children"
I often see Adult Children taking on the leadership role of a transition. Sometimes, that role is planned and sometimes that role "just happens" due to an unforeseen event. Working in the business of helping Seniors, I would like to share a little about my thoughts and experiences.
Anytime a Senior is transitioning (whether they're moving or simply downsizing) it can be very stressful. There are typically a lot of people around "pushing" them to make a decision. Since most of the Sandwich Generation are really busy, they usually push too. It can be hard on everyone involved, but the one thing we should all remember, is....what we're sorting through is not just possessions.....it's someone's memories and life.
It really helps to set a time table that is agreed upon by the Senior and Family. If everyone agrees to a plan up front, it's a lot easier to go through the entire process. While sorting through items, if the Senior is having a hard time deciding whether to keep it, you can put the item off to the side and come back to it later......just don't let the "later" pile get too big!!
Since these possessions are often tied to fond memories, it does help to talk about the memories as you continue to sort and pack. We know that (usually) the Senior can't keep everything, but we also suggest taking pictures as a way to keep the memory, but not the physical possession.
I think the thing I've learned the most is respect.....
It's easy for the Family and Senior to get frustrated, but it's much easier to keep reminding yourself that this is an important event in the Senior's life and they should be treated with dignity.
And I'll close with a quote I just read by Jason Love:
"The Elderly don't drive badly; they're just the only ones who take the time to do the speed limit"
Jeri Pischke
Tender Heart Transitions
www.tenderhearttransitions.com
